Staci Farmer – “I’m his toughest critic”

Staci Farmer admits she’s a bit of a pessimist.

“But not Obie,” she quickly added about her husband. “He’s very much the optimist. He always says ‘there are no problems in life; just situations.’ He doesn’t constantly worry about things. He just finds a way to fix them.”

That was never more evident than when he first took over as head coach for the Effingham Flaming Hearts. Obie assumed the position mid-December after Rem Woodruff resigned. The Hearts were 2-7 at the time, but then won 17 of their next 23 games to finish with a 19-13 record and came within a last-second shot of winning a regional championship.

“From the get-go, he set ground rules,” Staci noted. “He demanded respect from the kids, plus he expected them to play with great effort. I believe the kids do respect him.”

He followed that up with an 18-13 campaign this past year and knows expectations will be high next season when virtually the entire starting lineup – and a talented group at that – returns.

Obie Farmer is a good-sized man, but Staci says he’s “just a big teddy bear. He’s definitely the jokester of the two of us. I’m always asking him if he can ever be serious. Sarcasm is just his way of being funny.

“But he’s also a very caring individual,” Staci added. “And he’s always looking for ways to help his kids out.”

Obie and Staci met while attending Blackburn College. They’ve been married for 8½ years and have one daughter, Emerson, who will turn 3 in April. And a second daughter, Ella, is scheduled to be delivered in July.

“He has fully embraced being a ‘girl dad,’” Staci pointed out. “Emerson has him wrapped around her finger.”

Staci was a basketball player, both at Brownstown High School and in college, and served as the first coach for the junior varsity program at Blackburn.

“I knew I’d be a coach’s wife,” she admitted. “We both had aspirations of being a coach and teacher, but I get to live that through him. I knew he would be a football and/or basketball coach.”

And she was right. Obie coached at Highland, Dieterich and Martinsville before coming to EHS. Next year will be his 10th year as a coach. He is also an assistant coach for the EHS football team.

Staci has been employed at Kingery Printing for the past five years and serves as a Customer Service Rep.

She said “for the most part,” being a coach’s wife is what she expected.

“I knew a lot of time would be involved, but nobody can prepare you for what it’s like after you have kids and the sacrifices that have to be made,” Staci explained. “I also wasn’t prepared for how the players become a part of your family. It was more than I expected, but in a good way.”

One of the things Staci admires about her husband is his willingness to talk to his mentors when he’s facing challenges.

“Sometimes, it’s easy for a coach to become prideful,” she said. “They get to a point they believe they can handle everything. As a coach, sometimes you make a bad decision. It’s how you respond after that that matters. Obie doesn’t think anything at all about calling and talking to other coaches and asking them how they would have handled a similar situation.”

Another challenge is juggling time between all the coaching responsibilities and those at home – especially with a 2-year-old that simply idolizes her daddy.

“There are times we don’t see a lot of each other during the season,” Staci noted. “But Obie still helps around the house when he can and makes extra time to spend with Emerson, which is great. And he’s very good at not letting her see him when he’s aggravated.”

And there are special times dad and daughter enjoy at the games.

“Obie loves it when she runs across the gym floor and gives him a hug after a game,” Staci said. “He says it makes him feel like they just won a state championship.”

And then there was the Hearts game at Mt. Zion. It was probably the worst game they played the entire season, and as a result, they lost a game they shouldn’t have.

Obviously, Obie wasn’t real pleased with his team’s performance, but here came Emerson running toward him anyway.

When he picked her up, she looked at him and said “Daddy, that was just awful,” Staci recalled. “She didn’t know she was pouring salt into the wound, but it was definitely a comical moment.”

Staci and Emerson attend virtually every game, both at home and on the road. She admits she is protective of her husband.

“I’m vocal in the stands,” she admitted. “I get invested in the season as much as Obie does, which I’m sure is common for all wives.

“We had a situation this year that caused me to change our seating arrangements,” Staci added. “Some of that move was for me; some for Emerson. It doesn’t feel fair to subject her to hear bad things said about her dad. When things are going good, he’s the greatest. When they’re going bad, he’s the guy that gets all the blame.

“Sometimes it is difficult on parents to see their son getting yelled at or corrected during a game. But it’s when a coach stops yelling at or working with them that parents should get worried. Obie sees things they can do to be better and he believes they have more to give. That’s why he coaches them like that.”

“But I’m guilty of yelling at him once in a while, too,” Staci continued. “I might tell Emerson to ‘tell your dad to call a timeout.’ I get pretty emotional. I’m his toughest critic.”

Like many coaches, Obie brings some of his emotions home after a game or a tough practice.

“Sometimes he asks for my opinion,” Staci said. “He will ask me “What could we have done differently? How could I have coached differently?’ I’m not afraid to tell him things. He’s not always happy with what I have to say, but he listens and he takes it.”

As difficult as some of those times are, there is also the relationships that grow between the players, the coach and his family.

“We want Emerson to grow up in the gym,” Staci said. “That’s going to be part of her life. It’s huge for us to see her with the boys. She gets hugs, High-5’s and calls them ‘her buddies.’ She knows all their names and they treat her great. That means more to me and Obie than anyone can ever imagine.”

Even though the season is now over, Obie has already been studying more film, trying to figure out how the Hearts can be better defensively next season.

“People don’t see all the dedication it takes to be a coach,” Staci noted. “There’s watching film, scouting, making game plans. There’s so much more involved than just practicing and coaching at the games. There are so many things a coach has to be willing to do. They have to love it.”

And Staci then quickly added – “And Obie does.”